The Bawbags Trial
(Bob’s Bookshop)
Tues 6th August
3.30pm
Accused – Midge and Colin
Judge – Tony Law
Prosecutor – Barry Ferns
Defence – Bob Slayer
Cameo – Lewis Schaffer
Cameo – Quint Fontana
Cameo – Cynthia Levin
Song – Jenny Beake
Now this show was quite mental. Rather absurd.
When Tony Law tells you afterwards that it was the weirdest gig he has ever done, you know it had to be something special!
I have called it the ‘Battle of the Beards’.
It started a bit late. I didn’t actually have Judge Tony Law’s phone number until 5 mins before the show was due to start. I needed it then because I really wasn’t sure he was going to turn up. Our communications were limited to email, twitter and a meeting at a gig a month or so ago.
I kind of knew what I might have let myself in for with Tony. He really is the same person off stage as you see on stage.
Imagine a Canadian moose let loose on the Royal Mile, with everyone wanting to come see what this strange goofy creature is like up close. But don’t get too close, because he is big, has antlers, and it’s not clear he has them under control.
Tony is so lovely and generous with smiles and funny asides, but he has the attention span of a child dosed on Haribo.
When I did manage to call him and remind him of the show, he was already on his way, phew. But he insisted there should be two pints of beer lined up for him and his ‘minder’ Piers, with some yellow or golden nail varnish to touch up two of his finger nails. All the others, it turned out, were blue.
How much of this diva-like behaviour was to mess with my head or required to settle his own abstract performer’s mind, I will never know.
But he did arrive, radiating fun and giggles, whisked into Bob’s Bookshop without the wig and gown, and just wanted to get the show started. With absolute ignorance of the ‘script’, he got the laughter fired up from the first moment. He is the type of comedian that is effortlessly funny. (So it seems).
Around him, were the brilliant beards of Barry Ferns (winner of the Malcolm Hardee Cunning Stunt award) and Bob Slayer (host of the most successful fringe venue ever).
And then there was Quint Fontana, his first appearance in a ThisIsYourTrial court room. Another beard to boot. Quint was sublime, bringing another level of surrealism to this already ridiculous show.
The two accused were the proprietors of Bawbags, an Edinburgh based producer of underpants. This already set the show up to be quite crazy. Colin and Midge paid for this show to promote their business and get involved with the fringe. They invited their friends and clients. I don’t think they were disappointed with the result of their investment.
The accused
The show was fantastic, it turned into total chaos which made things even better, scripts went out the window and ad libbing of the highest quality took over. It totally suited what we’re all about as a company, original, creative and lots of fun! Dave had clearly done his homework on us and seemed to know exactly what we wanted without us really knowing ourselves! Great entertainment around a brilliant concept……
Midge Whyte
Midge and Colin have always been a little bit different in how they market their brand. Make sure you take a look at their website. And see below for another brilliant example of their unorthodox approach when you watch the award winning short film ‘John’s Happy Ending’.
The talent we got involved with our show was fantastic.
Apart from Tony, Barry, Bob and Quint as already described, we also had the brilliant Lewis Schaffer and Cynthia Levin to play ‘expert witnesses’.
Cynthia Levin has taken part in quite a few of our shows now and in this one she played the role of a part-time model from Sports Illustrated to argue that Bawbags for Birds was actually a shameful exploitation of a sexist idea… Bob Slayer defended the notion and further demonstrated the design qualities of the pants to the jury.
How they managed to contain and restrain his appendage is true testament to the qualities of Colin and Midge’s product.
And then Lewis Schaffer turned up to be an expert witness in language to explain the etymology of the word ‘bawbag’, and the validity of TWAT (Thermal Wicking Active Technology) that is employed in the fabrics of their superior garments.
Tony took a wee break at that point to allow Lewis to hold court in his absence.
Lewis Schaffer, Tony Law – Bawbags Trial
Were they found guilty, who knows? Who cares?
(What was the charge anyway?)
The show ended with the delicious Jenny Beake who ended the show with a song written for Midge and Colin…
Sing to tune of King of the Road by the Roger Miller:
King of the Thong
Bawbags are really great
To charities they donate
Testicular and prostate
Keep ’em today not in a state
Midge hates rap and reggae
Looks like a wee monkey
Drinks red wine all day long
He’s King of the Thong
Colin loves eating pies
Listening to jazz and eating pies
Pies pies pies pies and more pies
He’s king of the pies
Key change. Or not. I’ve only got grade 1.
I hope you like this song
I’ll keep it brief, not too long
I need to get a Brazilian done
Queen of the Pants (or Pubes)
